MM MECC ANICA

Fear

Motivator and demotivator

A portal held shut by an assumed torrent of the unknown

When you believed it had power… you fed its existence and growth

When you saw it as a teacher and lesson… you became a student

You began to observe and study

Becoming present with it

Learning

and

Growing

I fear in writing this, I will continue to lose people close to me.

In writing that sentence, I know that through my growth and learning, instead of fear, I need to place my consciousness in the space and time of feeling where; after me writing, and you reading, we are brought closer together through what I’m communicating.

As my journey continues along this path of (insert polarizing word here), I find myself jumping between worlds constantly, and becoming much more comfortable in doing so. I don’t feel that I’m losing myself anymore, but finding a truer version of myself by continuing to go headfirst into the unknown regardless of my perception of the outcome or what others think of it.

I grew up and was trained in a society/culture/worldview that doesn’t believe in the spiritually of what can not be seen or measured, which in itself has become a religion of its own. Science and the scientific process and capitalism and it’s processes have grown into the same machines that the world’s largest religions have. To question one, to believe in something unseen, undefined, unmeasured or leave space for the unknown in either, invites the same outside criticism and judgement I was pushed away from the concept of religion by.

I was trapped as a parishioner of the Church of Science, Order of Capitalism and the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Not by unchecked belief of what they stood for, but through my actions of outward judgements for those that didn’t share my vision of how I thought everything worked.

Judging is lazy.

It’s the worst sort of trap.

It separates you from yourself.

And you from everything else.