MM MECC ANICA

Watches are for reference, you control time and what you do with it.

Following the big 2 posts (Ctrl+Alt+Delete (1)) and (Ctrl+Alt+Delete (2)), I have had many people come to me to discuss the medicine and the medicine and the medicine. It’s fun and seems like an easy button, but it’s not, so I’m here to talk about the rest of the shit that has gone into my progress from a sociopathic non emotional logic only thinker, to whatever I am now.

The short answer for those who won’t read the whole article; medicine shows you what’s possible, but it’s not the way. Medicine is like sitting passenger seat in a F1 car (if there was one) with Senna and expecting to drive like him once you get in the drive seat. The fucking hubris, don’t worry, we’ve all had it about this topic.

The long answer, a lot of work. Hard work, soft work, surrender work, over exerting work, acceptance work…the work list goes on…big surprise for me, is that I struggle with the soft work, acceptance and surrender, over exerting work seemed to be normal practice and has actually become the hurdle I am trying to overcome the most. It’s almost like that is my lesson in this life. Working “softer” may be as confusing to most as it has been to me. Either way, I’m working hard and soft at this growth with or without the medicine.

On this topic, in response to me saying “I need to be working harder at my relationship,” a guide of mine responded with; “doesn’t ‘harder’ invoke the wrong feelings and emotions? Feel what your body and mind does when you say ‘harder’. Maybe you should be working softer at it.”

Surprise, if you try and feel what the word ‘harder’ is to your body, you are tense and constrict muscles and it comes with a pre determined push to over exert that we’ve all been trained to do. It’s almost a negative feeling in this context. You can’t work harder to be more present, or more loving, or more empathetic, you have to work softer and let all the shit in. Do less to do more. Another fucking contradiction that doesn’t make sense until you live it. This concept will still be confusing by the end until you experience it for yourself, but this concept is what allows you to do this work in parallel with your normal life.

So, with all of that being said here’s the approximate breakdown of my time applied to my process of self improvement.

Professional Services

2 Years : Counseling of the marriage persuasion (2-4 hrs a month). This has been ongoing and building a foundation of relationship and emotional work that I’ve used to apply to my more existential endeavors.

1 Year : Coaching of the internal tour guide persuasion (2-4 hrs a month). This built on my foundation, helped me listen to my mind-body connection and usher in new prospectives and start changing reality.

2 Months: Coaching of the energy tour guide persuasion (2-4 hrs a month)

8 Months : 2 Sessions 8 months apart of medicine experiences (20 hrs total)

Self Work

Lifetime : Observation and stored data in the brain. I can now recall this information and apply new lenses to it, learning even more from my past.

Meditation/Self Work : (1-3 hrs a day)

Applied reading to self improvement topics : (1-2 hrs a day)

Other on topic Podcasts / Reading : (1-2 hrs a day)

Let’s add this up…

In the last year, I’ve done about 100 hours of work one on one with professionals, 700+ hours of dedicated meditation/mind/body work and another 700+ of applied reading & podcasts to explain and help develop the experiences. This doesn’t include the time thinking about these topics occupying my mind as I work consciously through them in my new awareness. Let’s call that another 1.5 hours a day of new applied skillsets to every day tasks. We are now at about 2000 hours of self work in the past year or about 38 hours a week.

Well fuck…a full time job!

How the hell am I doing this? Well, I am not working as much as I used to, intentionally, but that doesn’t mean I’m not busy. I’ve restructured my days to support this growth, also, this working softer and not relying on time to consume me, allows me to do a lot of this concurrently to my daily life. I wake up, meditate for about an hour, make a cappuccino, eat and enjoy the beauty of the morning. Then I answer any work e-mails needed and then I start listening to a book or podcast while I accomplish other tasks as possible. I’ll take multiple 15 minute breaks throughout the day to center and reflect, and generally use meditative practices in bed before falling asleep. The professional services are scattered through my weeks like any other doctor’s appointment. If you are questioning how it’s possible while working and still having a life, start thinking it is, and the time will find you. What is time anyway?

Tick tock mother fuckers, no one else is going to do it for you.